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Stephen Colbert Doesn’t Feel Like Laughing

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Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Stephen Colbert opened “The Late Show” with a somber, emotional speech on Thursday, accusing President Trump of trying to “poison American democracy” with his lies about the vote count and evidence-free claims that the election was being stolen.

“By the way, if Donald Trump is right — if Joe Biden did pull the strings behind the scenes in Republican states like Arizona and Georgia while coordinating with Democratic states like Pennsylvania and Nevada and Wisconsin and Michigan and throwing in the red herring of letting the Republicans keep the Senate and gain a few seats in the House while just barely removing Donald Trump — wow!” Colbert said. “I mean, kudos to that level of interstate coordination. I mean, anyone who could accomplish that many things at once right now really would be the president we need during a global pandemic.”

“You know you’re in trouble when your master plan starts with ‘Get me Rudy Giuliani on the phone.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Dude, you’re behind in Michigan. I’m worried you’re so confident because you think this is golf rules: ‘[as Trump] Just saw the numbers out of New York and Massachusetts. Very encouraging; way below par.’” — SETH MEYERS

“Of course he’s suing. I get the feeling when Trump didn’t get the Christmas gift he wanted as a kid he was like, ‘Better lawyer up, Nana.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“The Tonight Show” invited audience members to share their special talents, including one young woman’s impersonations of celebrities stubbing their toes.

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